Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Isn't This a School Night?

Sorry, Honey. The Girls Gone Wild taping is the other way. This is the jail.

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Recession

"First my soap company went under and now my crystal meth company ? Fuck You Barack Obama!"

Blonde and Grounded

"I should have taken mass transit. Now it looks like i'm taking it forever."
-Andrea

Lets Make a Deal!


Since when is asking the judge, "If I give you a BJ, I can go right?" against the law?

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Missing Spice

If she was a Spice Girl she'd be "Business Casual Spice"

G.I. Jane

It's hard to dodge security when you're running out the store with 50 bottles of volumizing conditioner.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Be My Angel of the Morning

The other agency must be Playboy.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Sun Worshipper

Don't sweat the DUI. Worry about that mole turning into melanoma. 

Monday, May 18, 2009

From Deep In the Archives

One can only wonder what crime this mysterious Girl Next Door was charged with.  With our shoddy record keeping, we may never know.

It was probably raping a nun after killing a panda.

Friday, May 15, 2009

I Wish Your Name Was Kelly

Then I could call you "Crazy-Eyed Kelly".

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Economics Lesson

 Don't worry, Someday you'll make it to the big leagues, Grand Theft. Actually with inflation, everything worth stealing is going to be over $100 soon anyway.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

The Classic MySpace Pose

"Here, this is my good side. The other one has a piece of metal stuck in it."

100 Pounds of Smoldering Anger

"Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry. You really won't like me when I'm drunk and angry."

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Happy 30'th

You can exhale now. You're officially a cougar.

No Insults


Because I Think I love you.

Monday, May 4, 2009

I'll give you a Lapdance if you let me go.


Strippers shouldn't be in charge of driving themselves.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

MY WEINER DOG IS BARKING

BECAUSE HER TITS ARE TRESPASSING IN MY FACE.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Doodoowanna Monga Monga!



She came from 65,000,000 BC.

Where it was socially acceptable to hit children with clubs. Because.... There was no society.

What are you smilin' at?

Hey, poor stupid! Shut your mouth,when I'm beating your ass!

-guest contributor- Marshall Sweet

Two Weeks Off The Compound


Miss South Florida Fence 2009 Runner-Up

She bobbled the Q/A round.

Poker In Front-- No Really

Would you like fries with that indictment?